Without a doubt, the menopause is one of the biggest changes that any woman will go through. Second only perhaps to menstruation, or childbirth if you choose, menopause can affect both you and those you live with – particularly, your intimate partners.

However, there’s no reason why your age should get in the way of a healthy sex drive. In fact, according to a YouGov poll, 50 to 59-year-olds are having sex 2.1 times a week – just 2% less than people half their age! To enjoy a healthy transition into a satisfying sex life post-menopause, first, we need to understand what the menopause is.


When women hit puberty they experience mood swings, breast development and the start of their periods. The menopause occurs when a female experiences her last period, resulting in the end of menstruation and inevitably becoming unable to conceive naturally.

Once a person’s ovaries stop producing eggs, oestrogen and progesterone hormone levels fall, which can cause a variety of symptoms. Generally, this phase takes place between the ages of 45 and 55, though 1% of women may experience symptoms before the age of 40.


Other than metaphorically kissing goodbye to tampons and sanitary pads, a person going through the menopause should also expect other changes - both physical and emotional. Menopausal symptoms may begin a few months before your periods stop, and can last up to four years afterwards. You may notice:

  • Hot flushes and night sweats
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Disturbed sleep
  • Headaches
  • Anxiety or low mood
  • Memory and concentration problems



Beyond these symptoms, two of the most noticeable changes to your body post-menopause are sexual discomfort and a lower libido (sex drive).

Oestrogen is one of the key hormones responsible for your natural vaginal lubrication. As women age, vaginal tissues become thinner in response to lower hormone levels. This makes the vagina more sensitive to irritation and less likely to self-lubricate while aroused. Sex drive and menopause are very closely linked. Not only do oestrogen levels drop, which can result in dryness, but testosterone levels also lower. When testosterone levels are low, you’re less likely to feel ‘in the mood’. Pair that with the fear of pain during sex from vaginal dryness, it’s no wonder some women find it difficult to open up with their partner about what they’re experiencing.



It's completely normal to shy away from intimate moments with your partner when going through the change. The menopause can lead to various bodily changes along with a drop in your libido - which can of course have a negative effect on your self esteem.

It’s important to remember that the menopause is a natural, unavoidable process your body goes through. As embarrassed as you may feel, try to be open and honest with your partner when you start experiencing symptoms, or even discuss how you’re feeling with a healthcare professional or friend first to give yourself a confidence boost. There is a deep link between self-esteem and sex drive. The more confident we feel in ourselves, the more likely we are to want to initiate intimate moments with our partners. Once again, what’s important is to talk to each other.

One of the biggest problems for women is that the menopause is such a ‘taboo’ subject, and it’s common to feel undesirable when your body starts to change. This is absolutely not the case. All it takes is time, talking and understanding – moving at each others’ pace and acknowledging the fact that you may need to be more relaxed before warming things up in the bedroom.


Perfect for use with condoms and sex toys, Knect helps to allay the symptoms of vaginal dryness after menopause and reconnect you with your partner. It aids natural penetration, helping you to bring intimacy back into your relationship at your own pace.

If you’ve not had sex in a while, you may need to introduce Knect slowly. Consider starting off by reconnecting with each others’ bodies – using the lube for foreplay and connecting with just your hands. When you feel more comfortable, you can move on to penetrative sex. After a while, any anxiety you felt about pain will subside, leading you to enjoy the full, flourishing sex life you once had.

It may not seem like it on paper, but the menopause can actually be a very welcome change in your life. No more worrying about ‘little accidents’ or being caught unawares without feminine hygiene. No more kids running around the house getting in the way of your lovemaking. You’re older, wiser and free to be more adventurous!

And if you need a little helping hand from Knect, there’s no shame in that. It’s the worst-kept secret in the history of couples. Just ask the neighbours.